Next on Mad Men

I love Mad Men for all the same reasons everyone loves Mad Men, and by everyone I mean a third of the people who tune into any given episode of Jersey Shore. The characters are strange but oddly dead on, you never quite know what’s going to happen and it all eerily seems pre-ordained, like, “Yes of course Don was supposed to have a fever dream about strangling an old girlfriend and stuffing her under his bed. It makes perfect sense for his character arc and anything else would just be stupid!”  But what I love most about the show, other than the way Joan shakes her hips while walking across a wall to wall carpet, are the scenes from next week at the end of each show. They all seem so frantic and dramatic but say absolutely zero and are taken so out of context that they could be of Pete ordering a sandwich or telling Trudy he wants a divorce. They’re basically just all of the characters saying a word and it’s perfectly captured in this Dan Meth cartoon, Enjoy! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus Fat Betty! YouTube Preview Image

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Mets Make Sad

It’s only six games into the 2012 Mets season and it’s already been an emotional roller coaster. The utter euphoria of starting off 4-0 thanks to great starting pitching, an absolute scorching David Wright  and an almost perfect bullpen has given way to a broken pinkie. Yes, our best hitter goes down with a broken pinkie and the toilet paper thin offensive assault gets exposed.  Jason Bay can’t hit, Duda is still young, Davis is lost and Thole and Murphy can’t catch the ball. When will Wright be back? Who knows, but whenever he does get back the chance that he’ll be hitting anywhere near as good as he was is very slim.  Wahh!   Still I’m hopeful they can turn everything around. I have to be. I’m a Mets fan.

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Crazy Killer Clowns

This is one of my favorite youtube shorts. It was made for Phillips Carousel TVs in 2009,  called Frozen Heist and is pretty darn cool. IYouTube Preview Image

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3 Step Plan for World Domination

Step 1: Every morning watch this montage from Karate Kid, when Daniel first realizes all of his hard work cleaning Mr Miyagi’s house was actually beneficial to his fighting skills. YouTube Preview Image

Step 2: Destroy all of my enemies.

Step 3: Bask in my new found fame and fortune.

The end.

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2012 Mets Preview

Spring is in the air and I’ve got a touch of baseball fever, common symptoms being mixed metaphors.  As a long suffering Mets fan I think I’ve finally gotten over the loss of Jose Reyes in the off-season, at least until I see him in that art project masquerading as a Miami Marlins uniform.  The idea that a big market team like the Mets couldn’t retain their star homegrown guy was beyond depressing and the cherry on what was a miserable 2011 season. But when you think about the expectations going into last year and how they played the first half before losing half the team via trade and calamitous injury they weren’t that bad. They also have a nice group of core young players which gives me a tincture of hope for the new season. Do I realize that hope will most likely be dashed by June? Yes but there’s not too much to watch on TV these days so I’ll take my distractions where I can get them.  Here’s how I see it.

INFIELD:

1B: Ike Davis returns from his mystery ankle injury and I’m hoping for big things from him, he has the potential to hit 30 home runs, hit over .300 and plays a flawless first base. HOPE!

2B: Daniel Murphy is just an awesome hitter, I love guys like that. Not a ton of power but smart, .300 plus average and a bunch of doubles the perfect number 2 guy. On the downside he can’t stay healthy at 2B and he will be a defensive liability… still. HOPE!

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Let the Games begin!

If Winter is coming then it’s a blizzard up in this here mofo! Yes the second season of Game Of Thrones premieres this Sunday and it’s pretty damn amazing. “Yes, well what do you know?” you may be asking in a snarky voice that really isn’t very helpful to anyone. I know because I watched the first four episodes and was totally blown away. I hadn’t planned on watching all four since I didn’t want to get too far ahead of the game and have to wait forever for the rest of the season but if I’m known for anything, other than the sweet as roses smell of my feet, it’s that I have very little self control. So without giving too much away here’s my review of the first four.

First off after reading the book series I was a little worried about how the show would handle some specific things from a special effects perspective. And by that I mean growing dragons, growing wolves and growing babies that aren’t so much human as not even made of matter (You’ll know it when you see it.)  Read More

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Nicolas Cage, spirit of the Cobra

There are so many fantastic things about this penetrating Nicolas Cage interview on Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. For one thing Nicolas Cage has a pet cobra, which is totally reasonable for someone who also owns a castle, and may in fact come standard as a house warming present. But the fact that he based his Ghost Rider character on the rhythmic and seductive movements of his cobra is quite intriguing. Who could’ve possibly guessed any thought was given to his character?  Best of all is this sentence which perfectly explains —  in a simple but totally relatable  and easy to understand simile — how he tapped into the inner psyche of his character.  “I wanted him to be something like an ancient Pharaoh, that’s coming back from another dimension to wreak vengeance.” Makes sense! YouTube Preview Image

Here’s a bonus retelling on Kelly Ripa’s show. YouTube Preview Image

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Fat, drunk and stupid

Trends usually come in threes so what’s going on with reality TV these days is closer to an epidemic. Of course I’m talking about series that revolve around Italians from the tri-state area who are obnoxiously loud, pathetic and uneducated  and spew out stupidity  to entertain the rest of the world.  The latest to enter the who’s more proud to be loud genre are Brooklyn 11223 and Mama’s Boys of the Bronx. They join the esteemed ranks of Mob Wives and of course the Jersey division which includes Real Housewives of New Jersey JerseyliciousJersey Shore and  Jersey Couture. I guarantee you someone is now working on a South Brooklyn Pawn  show as well as Jersey City Dolls show, about little Jersey guidettes in Jon Benet type beauty pageants. As A Brooklyn born and raised Italian American, with a splash of Maltese, I’m not quite offended by these shows but more like embarrassed. Many of my friends and family are loud and obnoxious but that doesn’t mean we’re proud of it.  Still, I guess it beats being from Ohio. Now that’s a spicy meatball!

Oh! We’re unemployed and live in our mom’s basements! Oh!

Three girls on one side, three girls on the other. Makes sense!

We don’t kill people, we just proudly wear the furs our husbands stole from your dead grandparents.

 

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Tebow or not Tebow?

As a long suffering Jets fan this Tebow thing doesn’t make much sense, they have a host of needs on offense including O-line and wide receiver that are more pressing. However, it’s not the end of the world either and as I’m listening to Mike Francesa rail against the trade I’m finally realizing what a self righteous blowhard he is. Tebow will basically be a glorified Brad Smith, a backup QB who can run the wildcat who will  have opposing teams spending one day of the week preparing for. He’s a nice complimentary piece who can also be a backup fullback and RB who isn’t going to start  as QB and who Jets fans will never want to start regardless of what Francesca says. In fact getting Tebow basically guarantees that Sanchez won’t have to worry about getting benched so his psyche should be fine.  Everybody calm the F down! Now leave me be as I go off to pray. 

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A Taste of The Hunger Games

With all of the Hunger Games frenzy going on I decided to see what the fuss was all about so I went to a screening of the young adult murder to stay alive in dystopian future movie. No it’s not this:

The Hunger games had less spandex than the Arnold sci fi action classic The Running Man but the two movies are very similar. The difference between the two is that THG (Too lazy to keep writing the title) follows a 16 year old girl who volunteers to go to the big city, get a makeover, a national TV interview and then, oh yeah, has to fight against 23 other teenagers to the death. And did I mention she may be in love with one of her fellow contestants, thus leading to the 13 year old girls obsession? OK that makes sense but isn’t the murdering teens for sport and entertainment viewing a little icky for teen girls? Yes, which is what I found somewhat off putting about the movie. Obviously the concept is horrific but when it’s Arnold and Dynamo it’s cool .

Ok maybe not as cool as I remembered but Dynamo is still a murderous killer who I think tries to rape someone so killing him is OK. But how do you show 15 year olds murdering each other without it being weird? The answer: shaky handheld cameras which make it impossible to see the actual carnage and I guess ok to bring Sally to the multiplex.  And oh yeah here’s the girl who stars as Katniss, which sounds like cat piss but has nothing to do with urinating cats.

She’s an expert bowperson who’s got a lot of balls and is easy to root for when she kills people, even though it’s too few and far between for most guys who like action movies and probably way more than most girls who like Twilight. In conclusion, this was a good movie that could’ve been an epic great movie if they went a little more crazy with the concept and pushed it to the edge. I was thinking a crazed bloody frenzy where everyone was on their own and murder was around every corner.  I give it 3 out of 4 peeing cats.

 

 

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