The first pictures of the Gore Verbinski directed and Jerry Bruckheimer produced version of The Lone Ranger were released today, and it made me sad. First of all why does Johnny Depp’s Tonto have a bird on his head? Native Americans have feathers in their hair not whole stuffed birds. Unless, of course, their name was something literal with an animal flavor like “Stuffed Bird on Head,” which clearly isn’t the same as “Tonto.” Also as a child of the 80’s I loved the old 1981 movie The Legend of The Lone Ranger (Which I’m aware was then the updated version of the 50’s movies but don’t give a shit). For a supposed kid’s movie it was very violent, had the somewhat literally animally named Michael Horse playing Tonto, Christopher Lloyd as a badass villain and wasn’t put together by the same team who gave us the crappy Pirates of The Caribbean movies.