Everyone’s favorite alcoholic ad guys from the 60’s are finally back for the fifth season of Mad Men on March 25. Yes I said finally because we’ve had to wait a year and a half since the last season ended, which is so damn annoying and outrageous and actually offensive to me the viewer who expects my entertainment to be riveting, free and on demand. Luckily for me I got a screener of the first two hour episode. Now did the thought cross my mind to give away every detail and spoil the shit out of it to piss off AMC and thus promote this here website? No, not at all. OK sure, of course, but it’s a bit too dickish to do even for self promotion, which is why I could never be a Mad Man myself, I’m at a dickish level four instead of like a nine. So here’s a look at the first season. First off once again they all look like they’re stuck in some sepia drenched vortex. Exhibit A:
And B
I mean can you get anymore sepia? Will the ending of the show reveal that they’ve been trapped in the bottom of a bottle of bourbon the whole time ala St.Elsewhere’s snow globe ending? Ok so here’s what you will want to know without giving to much away. Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Pryce is doing pretty well, or at least well enough for Don to show up at 11 and leave at 11:30 with his smoking hot new wife Megan. And for the first time since his step dad got kicked in the head to death by a horse, Don seems happy. Meanwhile, Pete is now a dad and living in the suburbs and bringing in the bulk of the business. But most importantly he’s never been whinier, which is incredible when you think about how whiny he can be. Peggy doesn’t have much to do other than seem miffed and brilliant but somehow remain very likable and funny. Joan’s a mom to, I guess, Roger’s baby and on maternity leave. How long is maternity leave in the 60’s? Three weeks apparently, and then it’s back to wildly inappropriate innuendos and butt slaps at the office Christmas party. The episode centers around a surprise birthday party for Don who’s turning 40. First off, 40? Really? He’s like four years older than me and seems like he’s been 40 for 20 years. Also Don is annoyed not because he’s turning 40 but because he’s never had a birthday party, and I can’t say how sorry I felt for the ridiculously good looking yet constantly drunk millionaire who’s had more sex with more sexy women than the Knicks starting lineup. Finally the party is a mad jam that gets so out of control I expected Austin Powers to jump out of the shag rug. All I have to say is Zumbie, Zumbie, Zoo. Also it’s clear that the Civil Rights movement will play a big part in the new season as will water balloons that are made of brown paper bags. I will add that despite nothing much actually happening it continues to be a ridiculously interesting show and as good as ever. Zumbie, Zumbie, Zoo!
